Talk to a Human…

Posted by Laura Bergells

January 31, 2006

When will companies learn? How many times have you been irritated by this kind of message:

“Welcome to blah-blah company. Please listen carefully, as our menu has changed.”

Well, that’s a lie right off the bat. The menu hasn’t changed in over a year. But let’s continue.

“For service, press 1. For sales, press 2….” followed by,

“Your hold time is approximately 93 minutes. We’re sorry for the inconvenience.”

Well, you get the idea. Everybody hates listening to the phone customer service menu….and then waiting for a (usually) snappish and underpaid customer service rep who is underprepared to answer your question or solve your problem.

And no, the company isn’t sorry for your inconvenience. The inconvenience is built into the system. Your inconvenience has become institutionalized in the name of saving money.

This approach to customer service is truly despicable. It confuses the elderly. It annoys just about every customer. And it seriously erodes the company’s brand.

But by making bad customer service an institutionalized process, companies hope that you’ll become conditioned to getting bad service from every large company that adopts such a system. And it’s a great reason to turn to small businesses for products and services, so that you can talk to a human and get better, more personalized service.

This is a bad situation for large companies. Is there a solution?

Here’s just a few :

What if companies were truly sorry for making you wait — and what if they put their money where their mouths are? How about:

“You have a 93 minute wait. That’s poor planning on our part, and we’re truly sorry. To show you just how sorry we are for the inconvenience, please enter your phone number, and we’ll call you back in 93 minutes. Further, here’s a 5 digit code that you can use claim a $100 reward if we don’t.”

Think it’ll never happen? All it will take is one large company that is truly committed to customer service to break the mold. To end the institutionalize of bad phone service. Their customers will talk about them, praise them. And other large companies will be forced to follow suit.

But what can you do until that happens? Paul English provides us with the IVR Cheat Sheet (TM). This is a list of toll free numbers of most large companies in the US — along with the numbers you can bang into the phone to immediately get to an actual, real-live person.

I actually had to use this sheet this morning, when after 15 minutes of futile search at a large company website, I couldn’t find the most basic information — contact information! I got connected to a human being (Sanjha) who solved my problem right away, albeit she had trouble with the English language. But that’s another rant altogether….

Bookmark Paul’s page. If you have one product from a large company, it will come in handy.

May the customer service revolution happen soon!