Why do telemarketers drink and dial?

Posted by Laura Bergells

November 19, 2007

Most of the time, it seems that telemarketers “Drink and Dial.”

I pick up the phone, and somebody at the other end badly pronounces my last name. (It’s Bergells. Pronunciation guide: Brrr-gals. Two syllables. Not three.) Or they ask to speak to the Human Resources department. (I’m a sole proprietor.)

Two minutes at Google, and telemarketers could actually sound intelligent. Instead, they waste their time and mine with a “drink and dial” approach.

But sometimes, telemarketers and email marketers will actually do a little research before they call. And sometimes, just a little research can help them appear less deluded, drunk, and dangerous. But other times, the presentation of the research makes them seem even more dangerous…

Take the telemarketer who used the freely available information at Quantcast to engage one of my clients in a discussion about their site demographics. If you haven’t visited Quantcast, go ahead. Enter your site, and see how it matches up to your site stats and demographics. As far as the numbers go, I find that Quantcast is usually woefully inaccurate, under-representing visitors and page views by an alarming degree. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t a helpful tool in other areas, like providing psychological and demographic profiles on the visitors it does manage to capture.

In another instance, I’m guessing that an telemarketer used another free tool, Compete.com, to start a phone conversation with a client about how their site was performing — traffic-wise — in relation to some of their top competitors. You can use Compete.com, too.

Go ahead and see what they have to offer. It’s free and easy. (I’ll wait. Go ahead.)

Now, while I applaud these telemarketers for doing a little research before they contacted their prospects, here’s where their sales pitches fell apart. Quantcast and Compete.com information is freely available. However, the two telemarketers refused to answer my client’s basic question,

“Hey, how did you get that information?”

It’s a natural question. Some unknown entity calls you and tells you your site visitation, your audience profile, and competitive information. You’re going to ask.

So, if you’re a telemarketer who is trying to develop a business relationship, you’re going to answer truthfully and maybe even guide your new prospect to these sites, right?

It didn’t happen that way. Rather, the two telemarketers wanted to use this free info to make it appear that they had some special, inside information that only they could ferret out. Instead of building trust and expertise with my clients, they blew it.

They freaked my clients out.

Both clients called me right away, panicky. They wanted to know how strangers got hold of their information. Quantcast and Compete were my guesses — and from what I learned from my clients, I’m probably right. Maybe a little Alexa tossed in — who knows?

We’ll never know exactly for sure — because neither client is inclined to continue the conversation with the “drink and dial” telemarketers.

A telemarketer can’t build trust by suddenly playing coy after being so forthcoming. This kind of behavior sets off scammy warning bells.

When telemarketers start research-based conversations, they’d better prepare truthful answers to the obvious questions!

And remember, my name is Brrr-gals. Think “Brrrr” as in “cold“. And “gals” as slang for “ladies. Brrr-gals.

That’s not so hard, is it?