Befriending your Parents on FaceBook

Posted by Laura Bergells

March 27, 2008

To this very day, one rule from teenager-hood remains true:

Anything I do that I don’t want my parents to know about — that “thing” brings trouble.

Every single time!

Today, before I do anything even mildly rash, I ask myself,

How would I feel if my mom found about about this?

Ethics FaceBook

It’s kind of an ethical gut check. If I cringe even a little, it’s enough to make me re-consider my tactics.

So I read this article in the Washington Post “When Mom or Dad asks to be a FaceBook friend” with much amusement. Apparently, many 20-somethings are horrified when parents ask to be their FB friends.

The horror. When you become “friends” on FaceBook, your parents can see at a glance all your friends’ friends — and what you’ve all been up to. “Friending” a parent might mean that those pictures your friends took when you passed out on top of a keg while clutching a blow-up doll become instantly available.

The horror! If you “friend” your parents, it might mean that you have to modify your worst behaviors. Or live more openly and honestly. Or be more selective when choosing your friends. How’s that going to help you discover life? How can perpetual behavior modification help you grow up to be a successful adult? Shouldn’t you be free to make mistakes without scrutiny?

If you’re worried about scrutiny, let’s put aside your parents for the moment.

Facebook puts your entire life under scrutiny.

I’m going over some college photos from the 80’s, and some are pretty damning. I’m pretty sure one college pal never would have gotten the job that launched his career if I had sent one particular picture to his company’s HR department — back in 1985. (I’d never do that. For God’s sake, I’m his friend. Why would I go out of my way to damage him?)

But today, a “friend” might thoughtlessly post a similar picture on FaceBook (for a laugh and a lark). It’s easy! And of course HR departments are all over FB! There goes a fine, 22 year career — down the drain!

Being on FaceBook is living out loud. Whatever you or your friends do or say on FaceBook — everyone will know. Parents, employers — everyone.

Is this Orwellian? Maybe. But society has always played a part in keeping behavior in check. Since social behavior is magnified on FaceBook, many folks are highly concerned. Social rules on FaceBook are just beginning to evolve.

Perhaps you can use FB to make wiser choices about selecting your friends. If you know FB is watching, perhaps you can modify your own worst behaviors.

Instead of worrying about “friending” your parents on FaceBook — maybe FaceBook is becoming the parent (or at least a big brother) for 20-somethings! Let’s take that rule: