The 2 Worst Customer Service Scripts for the Age of Social Media

Posted by Laura Bergells

July 23, 2008

I’m a long-term customer (soon to be ex!) of two vastly different firms.

Company A has a so-so service offering.
Company B has an unique and exceptional product.

However, both companies give stinky customer service. And here’s a key difference in their loathsome customer service approach:

Company A apologizes profusely and insincerely at every turn.
Company B apologizes for nothing, while subtly suggesting that I’m an idiot.

Insincere or Supercilious? Both approaches alienate customers.

photo credit: Dashu Pagla

So how do I really know the apologies of Company A are insincere? Here are the signs:

They send out canned apology letters on a semi-regular basis (”We apologize for any inconvenience…”).
On the phone, the customer service reps repeatedly “apologize for any inconvenience” as part of a rather obvious script.
When I ask them to please stop apologizing and tell me how and when they are going to fix problem, they apologize. For apologizing.

This behavior is irksome. If the company was truly sorry, they’d either fix the problem or describe their correction plan. When I asked for the company action plan, the customer service rep apologized (naturally!) but declined my request.

Sigh. Like talkin’ to a wall…

The company’s “stick to the script” policy wastes everyone’s time. No honest communication at the front lines? Why even bother communicating? Indeed — why be a customer at all?

Now, with regard to Company B - what’s wrong with them being right all the time? Isn’t that supposed to fill my soul with confidence and respect at their unfailing superiority? After all, they have a great product — why not expect to be rebuked and treated like an inferior when I schedule face time with their consultants?

ME: “Hey, I’m concerned. I called your office 3 times last week to schedule an appointment. The last time, Beth said she’d call me back in 20 minutes. It’s been over a week, so I’m wondering what’s up…”
REP: “You should have called the week before. And last year, we sent a letter telling you so.”
ME: “As I said, I called last week. Three times. Wanna see my phone records when I come in?”
REP: “That won’t be necessary. We’ll schedule you for 12:45 on Thursday. You can come in then, or you’ll have to wait until next month.”
ME: “OK, I’ll work it in.”
SAME REP, NEXT DAY:”I’m calling to confirm your 4:45 appointment tomorrow.”
ME: “My appointment is at 12:45 tomorrow.”
REP: “I made room for you at the end of the day. I remember you requesting that.”
ME: “I have a Skype recording of our conversation yesterday. Would you like me to play it back for you?”
REP: (weary sigh): “I’m very busy and don’t have time on my hands like you obviously do. “
ME: “OK, just take my word for it, then. I’ll be in at 12:45, like we arranged.”
REP: “We’re really very busy at that time. Much too busy to handle a walk-in.”
ME: “That’s OK, just move some stuff around. Because that’s what I did yesterday to make room for our appointment.”

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have been so idiotically peckish, but her smug attitude brought out the worst in me. It seems that she, too, stuck to the company script — “Never apologize. And don’t forget to reinforce how busy and important we are…”

Customer Service is a Huge Part of Marketing. OK, I know I’m just ranting now. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know: lousy customer service can destroy a company ’s word-of-mouth marketing — even if the firm has a terrific product. Spend a zillion dollars on an ad campaign, and it can get blown to bits by one receptionist with a snippy attitude.

At the moment, I’m not inclined to recommend either of these firms — just because I don’t like their customer service posturing. So what, you say?

Other folks are not so mum. In the above paragraphs, I could have named the companies. I won’t name names — but many bloggers would have.

Many bloggers do.

The word of mouse of disgruntled bloggers can spread like crazy. Social media is like word-of-mouth on steroids. The quality of your customer service approach can profoundly impact your brand — exponentially. When it comes to customer service in the age of social media — it’s not just bloggers who have access to an RSS soapbox anymore. So be uber-careful! And please remember:

Scripts aren’t conversations. They demean both parties. No one likes to talk to a wall. Improv skills are essential in the age of social media.
A superior, can’t-be-wrong attitude brings out the worst in everyone. (I could be wrong about this one, though. But I don’t think so!)

Social skills matter in the era of social media. Empower customer service reps to use their knowledge and social skills to more positively connect with customers.