Social Media Requires Social Graces
Who is the Emily Post for social media? Not me! But I’ll take a shot at answering a question from my e-mailbag that seems more apt for Emily Post or Miss Manners than yours truly.
Here’s the Q:
I’ve had a few people contact me in Facebook asking to be “friends”, whom I have never met, but I think they found me because we have similar/the same interests, political views, etc. How do you handle such requests? -Puzzled Palster
Here’s my new age Emily-Postish, Miss Manners-y Answer:
Dear Puzzled Palster:
When I get FaceBook and LinkedIn requests like these, I usually ask,
“Please refresh my memory. How do we know each other?”
Nine times out of ten, the person writes back something like, “Oh! We don’t know each other. Never met. But I read your blog/ follow you on Twitter / think you’re interesting / notice that we have similar passions — and thought you might like to connect.”
You see what happened here?
It’s called a conversation. And it’s a key skill to hone when participating within social media channels.
Remember the “social” part of social media. Good manners and providing conversation starters are a big deal, socially.
Personalize first. Of course, it is far preferable if the person who wants to become your friend includes a bit of personalization in the first place. A conversation starter, so to speak. Both FaceBook and LinkedIn let people personalize invitations to friend or connect.
If you want to be social, be personal & personable. Be polite. Get the conversational ball rolling.
Not just once in a while.
Be personal and polite, 100% of the time.
Here’s how personalization looks in LinkedIn:
…and here’s how it looks in FaceBook:
You’ll notice that my FaceBook request to Guy also lets me add him to a “Presentation” list. Now, I’ve never met Guy Kawasaki in person, but I’m a fan of his work. And I’m happy that he chose to add my other blog (More Than PowerPoint) to the public speaking category of his Alltop site. So, if Mr. Kawasaki chooses to accept my friend request, it’s filed under my “Presentation” connections. My high school chums, local gal pals, college buddies, and business associates each get different personalized requests, and are filed quite differently.
Now, the personalization feature isn’t the only way to make your social media invitations personal. I’m often quite pleased to get phone calls from friends. They go something like this,
“Hey, Laura. I see that you’re on LinkedIn. If I send you an invite will you connect? And how about getting together for lunch or coffee?”
Some folks just aren’t writers, you see. They’re talkers and drinkers and eaters.
They’re social.
So, if you’re going to use social media tools to connect, don’t forget to use your real life social skills! Conversations are key — and good manners count for quite a bit in social media. Personalization isn’t tough or time-consuming: and it helps build and nuture relationships.
But just who IS the Emily Post for Social Media?
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Comments
Well since you and I both admitted to wearing white after Labor Day, I don’t think we qualify.
Seriously though, I’m starting to learn how this all fits together but in bits and pieces from blurbs and blogs. Perhaps someone should step up and announce their intention to be the self-appointed doyenne or doyen of social media etiquette. Of course, they would need to be thoroughly VETTED by the social media world. After successfully accepting the nomination, they could in all confidence launch a website devoted specifically to techniques and etiquette as it applies to social media. It would be lovely to have all the basic information and how-to’s in one handy spot for novices like me.
Note to self…stop watching so much convention coverage.
Laura,
Once again you have more than simply answered a question, you have given very good advise! Go Emily…er…Laura!
Thank you, thank you!
Jeanine