I walked to the mail box with a garbage bag in my hand. I was going to simply toss my trash in the dumpster, but the mail woman was driving up to my mail box, so I walked out to retrieve my mail with my sack.

The mail lady handed me my mail. I set the bag down, and quickly sifted through my stack. Within seconds, over 90% of my mail ended up in my garbage sack.

The postal worker seemed outraged.

“That’s just rude,” she chastised. “Advertisers spend good money to create that mail. Then they pay to have ME deliver it. And then, you don’t even have the decency to read it! After all the time and trouble they went through! You’ve got a lot of nerve just tearing it up and throwing it away right in front of my face. You have ZERO manners. ZERO!”

I laughed at first, because I thought she was kidding.

She wasn’t. My mail person was truly offended by my behavior.

photo credit: metropolart

Going postal. Fearing the violent reputation of many mail workers, I simply nodded and walked off with my remaining mail. And my garbage bag.

Thankfully, she didn’t shoot me as I tossed my garbage in the dumpster.

No sense in arguing. We all know what junk mail looks like without a thorough inspection. It didn’t take me more than a few seconds of thoughtless processing to deal with slick visual come-ons from people I don’t know, with offers I don’t want.

I dump most junk mail on automatic pilot. I’m sure most of us do.

Visually, all junk mail looks pretty much the same. We know to chuck it, unread.

And when  we’re tricked into spending a few seconds opening a piece that turns out to be junk, we feel annoyed — before we toss it.

So what’s worse? Is it really bad manners to IGNORE boorish messages from strangers?  Or is it bad manners to SEND boorish messages to strangers?

People ask me about “traffic” all the time. As in:

“Laura, how do I get more web traffic?”

Somewhere, somehow, some folks seem to have forgotten that traffic is undesirable!

Sometimes, lots of traffic is stinky, smelly, and annoying!

photo credit: SignalPAD

Don’t get caught in traffic! There are about a zillion attraction and marketing tactics that can lead to the dubious goal of “more traffic.” Search Engine Optimization (SEO), press releases, ad networks, participating vociferously in social media — the list of online marketing tactics can go on and on. Which ones will work best for you and your site?

That’s where “strategy” comes in. The last thing you want to do is spend your time chasing internet marketing tactics without a strategy in place.

Dogs chase traffic.

Smart business people don’t.

photo credit: thetorpedodog

Take a look at what you’ve got. When business owners bark, “More traffic!” — I encourage them to take a hard look at their stats. Too many times, we find that “more traffic” is a lousy goal. In fact, many times, “more traffic” can be the kiss of death for the business. Why? Consider this all-too-typical scenario:

The Case of the Website Abandoners. Let’s say the website gets X number of visitors per month — yet averages less than 10 seconds per visitor. Further, the stats reveal that over 97% of the site’s visitors never return. So — what’s the point of getting “more traffic” to this site? To scare away even more customers?

What to do instead. When a site suffers from a high rate of abandonment, something’s amiss. It might be a simple technical glitch– or a systemic problem with the structure, content, imagery, navigation, or offer. Next, carefully look at the referring site for the visitors. Did visitors come from an irrelevant link, or a badly placed ad campaign? If a website is turning off visitors when it has only a little traffic , find out what the problem is — and fix it — before aggressively pursuing “more traffic”.

Get off the ego trip. It’s really hard to explain to a Creative Director at an ad agency that we need to tweak a few things at a newly developed site — even if it’s merely A/B testing a headline approach or swapping out some pictures. And it’s even harder to tell a business owner that they have a systemic problem that needs complete re-development. In both cases, this is what I’ve heard (from time to time!):

“Nonsense, Laura — if we only had more of the right people who understand what we’re trying to do here, we’d be fine.

Now, how do we get those people to come to the site?”

Gimmee, Gimmee More Traffic!

Woof! Woof! Woof!

photo credit: doublej11

Face the stats. When business owners refuse to face their stats, I’ve discovered there’s not a whole lot that I can do to help them. Web analytics teach us volumes –not just about what works online, but about our offline messaging, brand, competition, and customer behaviors, as well. In fact, web stats can often give you more useful information than what you’d learn in a focus group. After all, it’s real and it’s raw! It’s customer behavior! Your stats don’t lie.

More traffic is not the answer... When a site isn’t resonating with a small audience — the last thing you’ll want is “more traffic!” Instead, set appropriate numeric goals — including acceptable bounce rates, conversion rates, page per visit, time on site, percentage of return visitors — and test how well your site performs with limited visitation. In other words, analyze the heck out of your site!

Tweak, test, repeat. When your site successfully meets numeric goals with a small audience, you’re more likely to be in a position to attract more qualified visitors. Instead of “getting more traffic” — you’re more likely to “attract more customers.”

And isn’t that a much better result?

Where’s my computer guy?

Earlier this month, I mentioned that there’s “a guy” missing from my Rolodex.

(Relax! “That guy” can be a gal, too!)

photo credit: loosepunctuation

“That guy” is apparently shy about implementing some effective word-of-mouth marketing!

Worth noting: “that guy” might be willing to spend $10,000 on a website — or an all-tell, no-sell brochure. And “that guy” might very well fall prey to a pitch from an aggressive cutie-pie account rep from a who-reads-it newspaper or no-one-visits-it website.

But “that guy” won’t spend 2 minutes to pop me a comment or drop me a line. “That guy” isn’t that comfortable with making a human connection, or starting a conversation.

“That guy” will likely invest in a foolish ad campaign that feeds his ego — but it won’t feed his family!

Man! Some folks will do anything to avoid interpersonal communication!

But without that crucial skill, how long can “that guy” stay in business?

It’s little wonder that “that guy” gets picked up by big organizations, who supply him or her with teams to fill in the interpersonal marketing gaps.  “That guy” has great tech skills, but little interpersonal savvy.

One more time: word-of-mouth marketing can pay big dividends. If you can’t make conversation — hire someone who can.

Years ago, I hastily scrawled “Laura’s Laptop” on the top of my notebook PC with a silver Sharpie Pen. I didn’t think twice about it. I just did it because wherever I go, there’s usually a sea of black notebook PCs. I’ve made the mistake of grabbing the wrong one from time to time. And I’ve been known to panic a moment or two when someone inadvertently walks off with mine.

No one runs off with my notebook anymore. I doubt they’re even tempted. It’s pretty clear that it’s my PC.

However, I’m a little surprised at the reaction of some folks. Some seem upset that I’ve “defaced” my own property. One guy told me it looked unprofessional. Another said my computer was now less “valuable”.

Huh?

What’s the big deal? Where do you suppose these attitudes come from?

(And what’s your favorite theft deterrent?)

I stopped giving out my cell phone number years ago. Instead, I transfer my office phone to my mobile phone when I leave the office. Here’s why:

• Giving clients ONE number shows you’re thinking about their convenience.
• Giving clients a BUNCH of numbers reveals a lack of customer focus.

Why Giving More is Giving Less. In the past month, I received a business card with a cell phone number hastily scrawled on the back.

“Just in case I’m not in the office,” explained the vendor.

“Why not just transfer your phone when you leave the office?” I asked.

“Oh,” she said. “I’d forget. I’d never remember to transfer. Too hard. This is easier for me.”

And with that one explanation, she lost my business. She demonstrated that her focus was all about making life easier for herself, not her customers.

Having a bunch of contact numbers doesn’t make it easier for customers to reach you. Instead, it demonstrates lack of focus.

It’s not that hard to transfer numbers. Takes about 20 seconds, tops. A small price to pay to show courtesy to your customers.

But here in the Midwest, I’ve found a small glitch to not giving out my cell phone number. Here’s my problem:

My customers and prospects continue to ask for my cell number!

It seems that most people have been conditioned to the cell phone / voice mail run-around! So when I explain that all they need is one number, they usually express delight.

But before the delight, there’s that odd moment when I have to sound rude when I begin, “I don’t give out my cell phone number. My office number follows me around wherever I go!”

It certainly attracts attention when I say that! And it gives me an opportunity to talk about my commitment to customers.

But still. There has to be a better way to communicate why I only give out ONE number!

How do you tell your customers to contact you?

Most of the time, it seems that telemarketers “Drink and Dial.”

I pick up the phone, and somebody at the other end badly pronounces my last name. (It’s Bergells. Pronunciation guide: Brrr-gals. Two syllables. Not three.) Or they ask to speak to the Human Resources department. (I’m a sole proprietor.)

Two minutes at Google, and telemarketers could actually sound intelligent. Instead, they waste their time and mine with a “drink and dial” approach.

But sometimes, telemarketers and email marketers will actually do a little research before they call. And sometimes, just a little research can help them appear less deluded, drunk, and dangerous. But other times, the presentation of the research makes them seem even more dangerous…

Take the telemarketer who used the freely available information at Quantcast to engage one of my clients in a discussion about their site demographics. If you haven’t visited Quantcast, go ahead. Enter your site, and see how it matches up to your site stats and  demographics. As far as the numbers go, I find that Quantcast is usually woefully inaccurate, under-representing visitors and page views by an alarming degree. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t a helpful tool in other areas, like providing psychological and demographic profiles on the visitors it does manage to capture.

In another instance, I’m guessing that an telemarketer used another free tool, Compete.com, to start a phone conversation with a client about how their site was performing — traffic-wise — in relation to some of their top competitors. You can use Compete.com, too.

Go ahead and see what they have to offer. It’s free and easy. (I’ll wait. Go ahead.)

Now, while I applaud these telemarketers for doing a little research before they contacted their prospects, here’s where their sales pitches fell apart. Quantcast and Compete.com information is freely available. However, the two telemarketers refused to answer my client’s basic question,

“Hey, how did you get that information?”

It’s a natural question. Some unknown entity calls you and tells you your site visitation, your audience profile, and competitive information. You’re going to ask.

So, if you’re a telemarketer who is trying to develop a business relationship, you’re going to answer truthfully and maybe even guide your new prospect to these sites, right?

It didn’t happen that way. Rather, the two  telemarketers wanted to use this free info to make it appear that they had some special, inside information that only they could ferret out. Instead of building trust and expertise with my clients, they blew it.

They freaked my clients out.

Both clients called me right away, panicky. They wanted to know how strangers got hold of their information. Quantcast and Compete were my guesses — and from what I learned from my clients, I’m probably right. Maybe a little Alexa tossed in — who knows?

We’ll never know exactly for sure — because neither client is inclined to continue the conversation with the “drink and dial” telemarketers.

A telemarketer can’t build trust by suddenly playing coy after being so forthcoming. This kind of behavior sets off scammy warning bells.

When telemarketers start research-based conversations, they’d better prepare truthful answers to the obvious questions!

And remember, my name is Brrr-gals. Think “Brrrr” as in “cold“. And “gals” as slang for “ladies. Brrr-gals.

That’s not so hard, is it? 

Postcards let your prospects and customers “see it all”. No envelopes hide your message.

Postcards are naked marketing. Postcards let it all hang out — and can have a great “hang” time. A promotional postcard with an event date or deadline ”hangs” in my folder until after the event. A clever, creative graphic with an amusing headline can “hang” on my bulletin board indefinitely — and become a conversation piece instead of a one-on-one marketing message. Coupons and thank-you notes tend to stick around, too.

Simple and Effective. The Post Office (The USPS, anyway) is making it easy for businesses and individuals to create and send snail-mail postcard campaigns. Visit the USPS NetPost services — you can create postcards online, and arrange to have them sent first-class for under 43 cents for a full-color, double-sided postcard (black and white is even less). 

How do you use the effective yet naked postcard to extend your marketing reach?

Google posts a guide for creating and running effective video ads through its v. popular Adwords program.

Unfortunately, one of the ads that is doing well is the Dove “Campaign for Real Beauty” program.

• Dove. Owned by the Unilever Company.
• Unilever. Perpetuator of the obnoxious Axe TV ads, where crowds of gorgeous, underfed, bikini-clad women cannot control themselves sexually around a dufus wearing the stench of this foul smelling faux-cologne.
• Dove “Campaign for Real Beauty” asks you to contribute to its “Self Esteem Fund”, so that girls can develop a more positive, more realistic image of themselves.

Anyone else smell the hypocrisy?

Instead of begging for money, maybe Unilever should be more responsible with the ads it chooses to run.

Maybe it has no business asking for donations until they pull the Axe ads and issue an apology.

For more hypocrisy in action at Unilever, here is a screenshot from some of the online workshop materials at the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty: 

Is this where the donated money from the Dove Self-Esteem fund goes? To develop materials so that girls can write better TV commercials — for Unilever?

Dreadful.

I am not a big fan of developing brochures as sales or marketing pieces. Especially for new or growing businesses.

Typically, brochures tell. They do not sell.

And they are usually a bad choice for a new business.

Most brochures are simply a laundry list of services with some clever copy, clean layout, and pretty pictures. They do not not do a very good job of selling a client on your services. They tend to be bland, pretty things. They might make you feel good, but they do nothing for your customer.

Poor salespeople will leave their company’s expensive brochures on my desk while I am out. Sometimes with a business card and a pathetic “call me for more information” sticky-note.

Why would I want more information? I already have their company’s most carefully-packaged information!

I don’t even look at it before I throw it away. Just like I don’t look at web sites that are modeled after the print brochure — 6 or so pages of “we do this” and “why we’re unique”. Who cares?

I don’t need more information. I need to be sold.

And a brochure just doesn’t sell me.

So what works better for sales than a brochure — or a brochure-type website?

Just about everything!

But seriously, if you have a new company and are thinking about creating a brochure, just stop yourself.

Think:  “how can sell” not “how can I tell”.

Think about direct marketing pieces that use the magic of direct response copy writing.

Think about your offer, your hook.

Think about writing a direct response sales letter that brings in sales long before you design a brochure.

A prospective client called me last week. A new IT security training firm, his three-man company launched a new website in November 2006.

To mark the occasion, he wrote a press release and distributed it on PRWeb for $80.

Throughout December, his company was featured on CNN, CNBC, RedHerring, The Christian Science Monitor, as well as a few other news outlets.

My prospect acknowledged that all the main stream media attention was nice and well worth $80 — but that he would rather get a great post on a few niche security blogs — “or on Slashdot or some other site that understands my customers better.”

My prospective client is absolutely right. CNN gave him visitors: but few buyers.

A few years ago, I had a client sniff with disdain when the Wall Street Journal published excerpts of a press release I wrote for his launch. “Our customers and prospects don’t read the Wall Street Journal,” he said.

He was right, too.

Main stream media traffic and attention does not convert to sales nearly as well as highly targeted traffic.

For many small online businesses, “Small(er) and niched” publicity trumps “Big and General” publicity.

“Big and General” can feed your ego.

But “Small and Niched” can feed your family.

Here are three insights into why “Small” is the new “Big”:

• In yesterday’s post, Seth Godin notes that David stones Goliath, or, er, that Joe Schmo’s blog can wallop BIG Media when it comes to contextual advertising. It is not much of an intuitive leap to recognize that contextual publicity will also draw and retain better prospects than general publicity will.
• In last week’s post, Chris Anderson at the Long Tail blog notes that niched brands are winning customer hearts and minds – far more so than big brands. It is a growing trend: like many, I would rather sport something unique (a vegetarian shoe or a hand-crafted amethyst ring) than something that I associate with sweatshop/slavery (a Nike shoe or a diamond).
• And of course, inbound links (IBLs) from targeted, niched sites with lots of authority and Page Rank are extremely important for getting great positioning at the search engines — for the keyword terms that matter the most to your clients.

CNN is nice. Getting on Oprah is terrific.

But if you own a growing businesses, focus your publicity efforts on the smaller, niched sites that acutely target the interests of your best prospects and clients.